just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
