I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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