the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
