When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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