Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
