I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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