Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
