weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
