I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
