We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize