Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
