so that wasnt chicken after all
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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