So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
