I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
