you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
