If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
