ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
