Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
