I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize