Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
