ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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