Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
