The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
