4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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