Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Drake has all the answers
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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