it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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