Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
