Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
