at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
