his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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