is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
