There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
