I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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