I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
