He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
