he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize