Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
