i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
