She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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