I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
