whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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