wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
