Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Alive.
So much puke
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
