So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize