No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
