Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
