I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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