What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
