i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
