I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
