i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
