i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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