She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
