I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
