Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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