The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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