I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
