We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
