Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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