I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
