And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
