Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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