I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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