Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
