Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
