CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
